My grandfather used to say, “Son, people are people.” What he meant was that there are different shapes and sizes of people, but we are all the same. We are people. Our commonality, having been created in the image of a loving God, overcomes any differences we may have.
I have had the privilege of being involved with multitudes of people throughout my years in ministry and have noticed that we all seem to share plenty of commonalities. We all eat, breathe, sleep, and play. We all enjoy the idea of family, (whether our families are functional or dysfunctional,) and we all want to be loved. I cannot imagine that any person does not want to be loved. (I’ve met some really difficult people, but even they wanted to be loved.)
To understand love, we must each feel a sense of belonging and a sense of purpose. These two enable us to feel loved. I have never believed anyone who has expressed a desire to be left disconnected and unutilized. We need other people and we need to have our gifts and abilities appreciated and used.
Feeling like we belong to something, to some place, or to some group, connects us with others. When we are connected with others, we understand that we have value. Basically, we were created to be connected. Community is connection. Living in community with others provides a sense of belonging.
We need purpose. A life lived without purpose is a life of frustration and unfulfillment. We need a reason to get up in the morning and get moving. When we have purpose, we understand more about our value, which helps us understand even more about love. Working together to achieve a goal together provides that sense of purpose.
When belonging and purpose combined, a person feels highly valued and fulfilled. When a person is an integral part of a group, and that group is striving to achieve great goals together, that person feels true satisfaction. Life feels good when this occurs. It just feels right.
Since my bride and I moved to our current city in late 2018, we have continually enjoyed the sense of community we have found. It was not easy for two empty nesters to move four hours away from our children and parents, but we sincerely enjoy this community. Civic organizations seek the common good, businesses seek growth and improvement for our city and surrounding community, and individuals want what’s best for the people of Atmore. We, however, feel that our greatest sense of satisfaction is found in the belonging and purpose we experience with our church family.
Now, before you tune me out and think, “He’s getting all ‘preachy,’” just bear with me. The truth is that God is love. I firmly believe that the church is the best place to come alongside other people to experience love and to have your unique gifts and abilities combined with those of other people to achieve goals greater than you could ever imagine. This belonging and purpose brings true satisfaction.
Sometimes, though, when I talk to people about their church experiences, I hear stories of how they were hurt by “church people.” They walk away from church after a bad experience, feeling rejected and without purpose. In some cases, these incidents were simple misunderstandings, but occasionally I speak with people who were injured by others’ pride, preferences, and prejudices.
Your personal experience may be one of “church hurt.” For that, I apologize. My apology cannot make up for your loss, but I can express my remorse for what you’ve gone through. The church, not just the one I pastor, but sincere churches all over the world, desire to make a positive difference, not a negative one.
One more commonality we all have is that none of us are perfect…not even “church people.” We could all use a second chance. Jesus came so that we, who are all imperfect, could be loved by the One who is perfect. He gives the ultimate love. He gives second, (and third…and more,) chances. Appropriately, as a response to this great love, we are to follow Jesus, live a life of gratitude to God, love others, and use our gifts and abilities to spread the news of God’s love.
So, why would I express all of this? I write to let you know that there are a lot of great people in great churches all around that would love to have you become part of the family of God and join us in the mission. If it’s been awhile since you’ve given us “church people” a chance, I hope you’ll give us another try. I hope you’ll find a place whose people love God and love people and jump on in.
If you’re a church leader, make the proper adjustments to be the church God called you to be. Do your best to include all people and to help them find a sense of belonging and a sense of purpose in your God-given mission as a congregation.
(This edited article orignially appeared as People are People in the Atmore News in January of 2020.)
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