Our oldest daughter-in-love had a birthday last month. Our grandson turned ten last week. Our younger daughter-in-love had a birthday this week. Our youngest son has a birthday next week. Time is moving along too quickly for my taste.
When my bride and I were young, there were two of us – now nine are in our fold. Since we moved to Atmore in 2018 the number has increased from a mere five people! We’ve only been here a touch over six years. Things have changed.
People say the only constant in life is change. It seems like only a brief time since Tina and I met in college – way back in the ancient year of 1986. We were practically children when we married in 1988, being twenty-one and twenty years old. Less than three years later we had a son – that was quite a change. Our second son came along two and a half years later – more change. In less than six years our family had become a family of four. We had some great times, though, and our family has increased beyond our imaginations.
Since we met in college we have seen a lot of change. Is it true that the only thing that is constant in life is change? The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is credited with that idea, and I tend to agree to an extent. From our earthly perspective, it is true, but from a spiritual perspective, I praise God that He and His love never change. He chose to love us, to keep loving us, and to never stop loving us.
Allow me to share a story with you. Years ago, I was standing at the rear doors of the church building in which I worked. A young man from our youth group was standing with me. It was February, and we had been studying true love from a Biblical perspective. We had finished a lesson on God’s unchanging love and how the Bible often compared the love of a husband and wife to that of Jesus and the church. We discussed the idea of His love being so great He chose to walk in humility, becoming a man while still being God, and sacrificing his life so we might go to heaven. The young man had internalized the lesson well and was asking a few questions as we casually spent time in the rear foyer.
We began talking about dating, marriage, and other things. We had grown close, and he had begun to open up about the important things in life. “Seriously, about marriage and stuff, what is true love?” he asked. “True love is when someone would truly give his life for another,” I answered. “I don’t think I could do that,” he said. “I get it,” I answered.
While we were talking, an elderly couple I knew well walked past us, through the door, over the driveway, and to their car. The man, who was recovering from a knee surgery, was favoring one leg. His wife, who had suffered physically the previous year, was holding his arm and helping him walk.
“Do you see those people? She had hip surgery last year and he helped her do all sorts of things, including getting to the car during her recovery,” I pointed out. “That may be as close to true love as you and I will see tonight. She is propping him up this year, but he propped her up last year. They’ve been married for almost fifty years. She would give her life for him, and he would do the same for her.”
We talked about how the world had made the topic of love seem only physical or romantic when it is much deeper than that. It is a commitment to one another through the good times and the bad times. It is a decision to do more giving than taking. It is a choice to overlook whatever frustrations, pains, and discomforts come along for the good of the other person. It is choosing to place the other person’s needs before your own.
Today, as I remember the image of the young man watching the aging couple as they slowly, carefully, walk as one on a shaky, yet determined path toward their car, I truly think his eyes were opened a little bit. I believe his heart and mind understood more. Love is a choice.
As we approach the day we celebrate romantic love, Valentine’s Day, we should remember that love is the greatest constant in life. We each may personally display love well or poorly, but true love is being willing to give of ourselves for those we love. While we may never come to the point of giving our lives, perhaps true love is somewhat exemplified by taking turns propping one another up and placing the needs of another above our own needs.
Of course, the only one who ever got it fully correct is God. God’s love never changes – and I am grateful. He chose to love us, to keep loving us, and to never stop loving us.
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